Exclusive Access to the Dark Lord
Note: this is the first article in a two-part series to document my interview with the fallen angel who sits on the throne of evil – Satan. Read the second article.
Setting: We were in an office, basically a quiet, firelit study somewhere below. The Devil, sharply dressed in a dark suit with a crimson tie, lounges in a leather chair. Attentive, notebook in hand, sits across.
Attentive: You’ve been remarkably successful in recent years. Many people say you have infiltrated churches, politics, and even schools. How do you explain this level of influence?
Devil: Oh, I wouldn’t call it infiltration. Let’s say… partnership. I offered certain people what they were already looking for – validation, money, and a sense of divine superiority. Once they believed they were chosen, the rest was easy.
Attentive: And in addition to introducing vertical morality, did you target religion specifically?
Devil: Of course. The best way to corrupt goodness is to dress it in righteousness. I whispered that God’s Kingdom could be built with power, money, and the right candidates on the ballot. They stopped serving the poor and started serving polls. Once faith became a political brand, I knew I had them.
Attentive: You’re referring to Christian Nationalism?
Devil: Oh, I prefer “The Movement.” You see, they believe they’re defending God, but they’re really defending me. Their theology is vertical – truth flows from the top down. They worship hierarchy: God to Prophet to Leader to Followers. I just replaced the prophet with a politician, the scripture with slogans, and the offering plate with PAC donations.
Attentive: How did you build the base?
Devil: Simple economics, my friend. I offered pastors fame and a platform. I told them that if they blessed my chosen one – the rich man who breaks every commandment but calls himself chosen – their congregations would grow, their donations would swell, and they would sit at the tables of power. And oh, how they feasted!
Soon, they no longer spoke of grace or humility. They preached about enemies – “vermin,” “others,” “threats.” Every lie became a test of faith: the more absurd the claim, the more loyal the believer.
Attentive: You must be proud of their success.
Devil: Ecstatic! They’ve turned compassion into weakness, justice into “wokeness,” and cruelty into “courage.” Even better – they now project their sins onto others. They call their opponents demons while they themselves speak my language: fear, rage, and greed.
They chant “God bless America” as they trample the teachings of Christ. Oh, irony is my sweetest symphony.
Attentive: And your next step?
Devil: I don’t need another step. They do my work for me. They spread misinformation in church bulletins, justify corruption from the pulpit, and raise children to confuse patriotism with holiness. I have built a self-sustaining system of moral inversion.
When truth feels like persecution and lies feel like salvation, my victory is complete.
Attentive: Any regrets?
Devil: Just one. They give me too much credit. All I did was offer the deal. They signed the contract with their silence and willful compliance.
Read the rest of the interview here – more information about the details behind the strategy and how to spot the “tells” of his fingerprints on American society.
